Retro Rant: SNES Mini

As a 80’s and 90’s squid, (I got upgrade by two tentacles when I reached an age where groping became dirty)  I love my retro stuff. I screamed like a little girl at NES and SNES back in the good old days and I scream like a little girl at it now. It’s just nowadays I am not always sure if it’s a scream of excitement or panic!

Nintendon’t listen

Last year my three hearts skipped a beat when the NES Mini was announced. Unfortunately in that little skip all copies sold out.  Which isn’t so surprising given the fact that Nintendo produced just about as many as the number of bits the machine produced. I was not able to take a trip down memory lane and it made me rather sad.  Goodbye thirty games , goodbye cutely designed tiny console, you are not ending up with this Mahou Tako.
Sure it had its flaws like the ridiculously short cable. Seriously Nintendo what the frick was going through your clever Japanese minds when you came up with this idea? I bet it was one of those weird commercials you have on tv. Also thirty games felt just a little bit lean. I don’t wanna sound ungrateful to the big N cause all the big titles were there but where was my beloved ducktales or that ridiculously hard batman game or the turtle beat em ups?


With the reveal of the SNES Mini Nintendo has the opportunity to attend to the major flaws that plagued its predecessor. Unfortunately Nintendo doesn’t listen to us very well. Currently  no shop in my home country of the Netherlands is allowing us to make reservations for the wondrous mini-console. Sure there are a few webshops who allow you to pre-purchase the thing but not a single site or store can guarantee you future ownership of a SNES mini. Reason is because Nintendo can’t confirm how many stock the stores will get in september.
The second major let-down is that the SNES mini will have even fewer games! Only 21 one games this time, sure the big hits are covered again but Nintendo you can’t do this!
Why don’t we get all the Donkey Kong games? I mean the first one is great but honestly the second one is better. I am happy we can finally legitimately play Earthbound and Super Mario RPG in Europe, cause if we wanna buy that one on a cartridge here we pay the big bucks. I think I saw super Mario RPG for like €300,- mint in the box once. 

We can almost buy a switch for that. But seriously, Link to the past again? Super Mario World again? Yes I love those games to bits. In fact my top five games might just contain those two and Donkey Kong Country so I am glad to see them return. Point is we know those games so well, where are our surprises!
I wanna shoot that giant baby in Zombies ate my Neighbours. I wanna slap a goldfish in Earthworm Jim and that Aladdin game was really badass!
I want to revive the continents from Terranigma, and save time with Chrono!
Yes CHRONO TRIGGER IS NOT ON THE SNES MINI! Shame on you Nintendo!

Nintendoes listen

No I am not trying to be overly negative, I do really like the idea of the SNES mini. I just think it’s all designed a bit lazily. Yet praise the seven stars, it does seem that Nintendo at least listens to us a little bit.
The cord length for the SNES mini has been increased to a fairly normal 1,5 meters. I would have preferred it just a little bit longer still or maybe even wireless, but with  sixty centimeters more at least it will be more playable.
Then there is the promise that there will be significantly more consoles available for us.  The console will be produced until the end of 2017 as well for those who miss the initial boat. However after that it’s game over for the SNES all over again.
In terms of games we also get at least one surprise, this comes in the form of the unreleased Star Fox 2. In honesty the game is not as good as the original nor as it’s younger (yet somehow many years earlier born) brother.

Still Star Fox 2 adds some much needed freshness to new mini’s lineup. Something that is not a re-re-re-re-release. I just wish there was more surprises like  flying around in a diaper in Actraiser or seeing ninja Donald Duck again in Maui Mallard. But playing alongside falco and slippy as a cute poodle will ease my pain for missing these gems.
All in all there are some major flaws around this release, but who the hell cares! Going back to our great memories stuffed in the cutest little box is hard to say no to, no matter how flawed the thing might be.
I know , you know and Nintendknow.
*Sigh* ‘Yes Nintendo…I will shut up now, just take my money.’
At least I will be able to have a tentacool battle with Launch Octopus.

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