Controllers & Calamari: Dream Daddy


In Controllers and Calamari I take a look at the tentacoolest video games. Sometimes they are new sometimes revisiting the gems of the past. Nostalgia can be a magikewl feeling after all as well.
Recently I bought myself that humble bundle featuring all those Japanese visual novels. It’s great to romance young girls, I can’t wait to wrap my tentacles around them however most of those games have little interaction, it can be a bit boring from time to time.
Now the Game Grumps have come up with a visual novel that is filled with fun to play minigames and a customisable main character. The catch to this update is that I have to trade in my cute precious girls for big, buff and bearded daddies!


In this game you play the customisable dad of Amanda Ann, an 18 year old dark skinned girl with a cute yellow ribbon and an otherwise punky look. She’s just the sweetest thing but she lost her mother. Now her father is available it’s up to us to get him a nice partner and this time around he isn’t looking for female-love. It’s time to go Yaoi, though depending on what dialog you pick it was always like that. Just like about everyone I started making a guy with the Goku hair, he had a fat belly and a douchebag beard and donned a pink shirt.
Luckily I did some research after the intro and rerolled my character and so it happened that that Yaoi Goku (I  felt really uninspirational when naming my dad) changed into Bob Ross.  I call this form Super Saiyan God Super Painter.  All you need to do to get Y-Goku to transform is beat the devil out of it. I won’t spoil the crazily funny stories but will mention a few names,
So one of the first dads that Bob Ross encounters is Brian, the fat beardy guy with a cute blush and cutest look. I nearly squeel in excitement when he challenges me to a Pokémon battle using our daughter. It’s been determined that I will like this game. When Pokémon is used it’s an automatic pass.

The gameplay is similar to most visual novels yet through these clever little minigames gets a pleasant pace. From Pokémon to mini golf and even some mechanical like puzzles. All dads have a good and a bad ending and there even will be downloadable content revealing yet another ending and possibly release another datable dad.  Though you should be able to go through all dates with all dads sticking with a single daddy will offer you plenty of replayability after all with over fourteen endings you might not want to have the dates becoming TOO redundant.  Then again, the minigames at least keep some variation in it.

Dreamy looking daddies

The Dads living in the Cul-Du-Sac this game is set in all look adorable and unique in accordance with visual novels they all adhere to a trope. There is the bad boy, the jock the emo kid , the charismatic one and others. When I finally met my dream Daddy I was thrilled to find out that he was a transgender who had Naruto Fanfiction in his house..definitely gets my ink sacs tingling.  The emotions on the faces is done nicely enough, and the design is reminiscent of a westerner’s view on anime. Like the avatar series. I would not fully classify them as anime but they are close enough to peek my interest. The backgrounds however, though colourful, seem off. They are filled to the brim with cute little details that make them visually appealing enough to enjoy they just are way more pastel coloured and drawn differently. This does make the characters pop-out more which is good but personally I would like to have seen them a bit more tied in together.  Then again I am Bob Ross, as long as I see a happy little tree it’s look good enough for me.  The minigames are all stylised quite uniquely and look like they should.  The backgrounds even begin to grow on me though some  seem to have a foggy sort of look on them.So Bob Ross dates his dream daddy I notice that all the backgrounds are done in the same style as each other and my aching heart is mended as Bob moves closer to bedding his dark haired hunk. Looks like it’s time to whip out my paintbrush tonight!  

Fucking Romantic

As my tentacles begin to curl in naughty enjoyment I catch myself enjoying this waaaaay more than I should. I can not relate to Bob Ross yet getting him ‘tentacled’ feels pretty satisfying and this is quite impressive from this game which such a disputed theme.
Throughout the let’s plays I watched alongside my own experience I find that everyone is enjoying picking up daddies. This is rather remarkable but I think it’s due to the fact that the whole Yaoi/Gay thing doesn’t really come up as an issue. It feels perfectly natural trough the atmosphere and this lack of depth is what makes the game fun and good. It’s also what stops the game from being perfect.   Though it’s great to get Bob laid , and with some of these guy that sure is easy, I feel the romance is a bit sacrificed. No one felt totally right for Bob, maybe because I chose Amanda had a mother before and Bob’s switch is never discussed. Two guys you can date are not even fully romanceable, cause they have other ties which is a shame.  I feel Bob is misunderstood he is not just looking to beat the devil out of his paintbrush, Bob wants true love and for my standard, and as a magical girl I know love,  we don’t get it. It feels like the game is settling for being good, though it could be deeper and more like its proclaimed simulation. The dates are all very cute and oftenly they take a weird turn that is very interesting.

You can get a weird form of satisfaction when things turn “steamy”. It just feels the highlight is spending the night with another dad instead of getting “the good” ending. The Game Grumps managed to make a very good and very memorable game. It júst falls short of being great, cause people might talk about this game but they talk about that game where you date dads. No one will ever tell you about THEIR choice cause the end is not what this game is about.
So in the end Bob may have found love, I did not find MY dream daddy.



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